I am too pure for you or anyone.
Its 6am and I’m still awake as usual. Today was nice. I made it through a whole day not thinking any negative thoughts, for the most part. It felt refreshing as fuck to be honest. My boyfriend had been getting worried about me. In the past few weeks my hair has literally been like shedding like crazy, I’ve been having vivid nightmares where I wake up in cold sweats and I’ve been having panic attacks every week. Its times like this I feel for Dee because we share the same DNA, and being bipolar just happens to be intertwined in it. Ironically enough, and it doesn’t even count because this is an extremely private blog, this is the first time I’ve openly admitted to anyone other then my family and significant other that i have a mental illness that I’m on medication for. I guess I just don’t feel comfortable just rattling off to anyone about my issues. I don’t like showing weakness I suppose. I know a lot of people that show it off like its a fucking prize. Really? Yes its just a cake walk constantly feeling like your on a emotional rollercoaster that sometimes gets uncontrollable when you drink. Just peaches.
At least I have some people in my life I really feel I can rely on. I don’t believe that blood is thicker then water. That’s bullshit. Family is who you allow in your life that will deal with all your crazy bullshit and take it in stride. My friends are my family. I’m counting my blessings because without all of them I don’t know where I’d be.
